Are These Firework Names?

In honor of Independence Day, I want to play "Are These Names of Fireworks?"

Crackling Ball: Is this a firework or a medical condition?

Martian Delight: Is this a firework or a Asian massage special?

Large Friendship Fountain: Is this a firework or a friend with benefits?

World Class Cone #3: Is this a firework or a douche bag at a bar?

Rocket Fountain: Is this a firework or a Passion Party gift?

Phoenix Tail: Is this a firework or a stripper?

Cajun Whistler: Is this a firework or a backwoods redneck you'd find on a float trip?

Here's some other firework names that don't even need jokes written about them:

• Airotica-11 shots
• Battle of Lexington
• Boogie Nights
• Heartstopper
• It’s a Matter of Size
• Jealous Condor
• Larry
• Lethal Weapon
• Molotov Cocktail
• Shock and Awe
• Barely Legal
• So Loud
• That’s Your Problem
• The New Hotness
• Untamed Retribution
• Very Vegas
• The Virus
• Well Equipped

Odd Discussions on Facebook

Sometimes when I'm up late working on homework, I am logged on to Facebook. I use it as a distraction throughout the evening as I am completing my web design assignments. One evening, someone decided to strike up an odd conversation with me. It didn't go according to her plans. Here's a transcript of our discussion.  

Leslie

I like you baby.

John

Great! Can you get me a beer?

Leslie

what?

John

I got a message saying you liked me. I thought you could show me how much you liked me by getting me a beer.

Leslie

i do like you, and how old are you?
are you married?♥

John

I am 38 and married. Where's my beer?

Leslie

im 21 and single, but before i get yu yur beer honey, r yu willing to have an affiar with with mee?

John

Is this all about you? What about my feelings? What's the status of that beer?

Leslie

what do you mean by beer>///???>?

John

Beer it is malty beer made from grains and hops and stuff. Now, let's get down to business! I would like a Boulevard Wheat!

Leslie

mmk, but wouldnt yu like to roleplay first

John

Sure, I will play a thirsty bar patron and you can play a waitress.

Leslie

okayy, i'll start.
Hello Sir Your A Hottie What Can I Get Cha,?

John

I'll take a beer!

Leslie

Okay, any thing else, like a invatation to your hotel room.

John

Do you have pretzels?

Leslie

yess, here ya goo, and anything else sir?♥

John

Why yes there is! I would like another beer!

Leslie

okayy, but wouldnt you like something elsee.
?

John

Oh I know what you're talking about...

Leslie

what am i talking about hun?

John

Potato skins...I would LOVE some!

Leslie

sir i ment we shuld go back 2 ypur place.

John

That's what I'm talking about. Here's the keys to my place. <tosses the keys> Go back, make some Potato Skins and you can help my wife clean up the place. She has a thankless job and she always needs help! After you are done, she can give you some career advice and discuss how you can stop being a whore. Sound good?