Nobody loves you on Facebook

You might be one of those lucky people who always posts a status update that generates interest with your friends. If that is you, congratulations. This blog is not for you. However, if you are a person who frequently posts without a "like" or a comment from your friends or if you are a person that lurks from the sidelines, unwilling to say what's going on in your life, listen up! Here's a few tips to make your status updates better:

It's in the details - It's sometimes nice to know the daily happenings of your friends. But we all go to work, eat lunch, and go to sleep. What makes your daily events different? We are interested in details. What did you hear on the radio on your drive into work? If you mention a hair band from the '80s, be prepared for my response. If you ate lunch, what did you have? If you make me hungry, I will tell you in my reply.

You got questions? - People love to give their opinions. Tell your Facebook friends what your possible plans are and ask for their input . If you are going to the movies, ask what movie you should see. If you are going to the bookstore, ask for ideas for books to buy. If you are going to the hair salon, ask if you should get all your hair cut off. That will get their attention!

Be loud and proud - If you had a good time doing something, be excited. We want to join you. If you had an horrible experience, tell us your misery. We want to counsel you. People aren't interested in learning about  middle of the road experiences. If you can't be excited about the events of your life, why should we be?

Proven winners - If you are following all of these suggestions and still not getting the love on your status updates, try talking about a few reliable topics. These include discussions of food, area sporting teams, your kid's activities or your pets. If I ever mention the words Cheez Its or cookies in my status, I'll always get at least two "likes." If I discuss the pitiful performance of the Chiefs or the Royals, I'll have a line of people waiting to agree with me. Finally, kids and pets are cute. Enough said!

Here's a few other quick tips:

• Rants can be funny and amusing on a limited basis. If you do it frequently, we will send the van with the padded walls for you.

• Don't post every article you read. Your friends know how to find things on the web. It's called Google.

• Don't go overboard with posting quotations. I might not find Larry the Cable Guy to be as inspirational of a character as you do.